


4 times Sherlock witnessed a suicide and 1 time he didn't

by chi1013



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, Depression, Drug Use, References to Suicide, Reichenbach Falls, Spoilers, Suicide, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-22
Updated: 2012-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-29 23:07:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/325182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chi1013/pseuds/chi1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>De-anoning from the Sherlock kink meme: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/15253.html?thread=81299349#t81299349<br/>"So... Sherlock looked pretty horrified when he realized Jim was about to shoot himself - and not damn, there goes my way out of this horrified, but spur-of-the-moment, shocked, shit shit shit back the fuck away from him horrified.</p><p>And he was a bit... frantic about stopping Henry from killing himself in Hounds.</p><p>The Prompt: Five times Sherlock witnessed someone taking their own life (and one time he nearly did the same, maybe?)"<br/>Spoilers for 2x03</p>
            </blockquote>





	4 times Sherlock witnessed a suicide and 1 time he didn't

**Author's Note:**

> Please see warnings above.

\------

There was this boy in secondary school, Martin Johnston. He was small for his age, thin and gangly, with big glasses and too long hair. It was pitiful to see whenever he tried too hard to fit in. Always one of the last ones to be picked for everything, always coming to school with money for lunch and leaving with an empty pockets and an emptier belly. He was easy prey for the older children.

It didn’t help that he was being abused at home either. Oh, the signs were all there and adults were stupidly blind, weren’t they, to not notice anything. It was easy to see, really: the long sleeves, the hunched posture, protecting his stomach when the boys came for him, hints of older, yellow bruises peeking through when he got roughed up after school.

Sherlock noticed it but said nothing. Why should he? Logically, he knew that no one would listen to him. They didn’t listen to him about Karl Powers, so why would they listen to him about this? Especially when those bruises could be so easily explained by the regular rows he found himself in from the bullies. No, better to sit it out. It would all come out in the end.

And it did. After Martin took too many of his mother’s sleeping pills in the boy’s loo. He found him just after lunch, dead in the corner. Sherlock could still remember his body, leaning against the wall, like a discarded ragdoll, pills scattered around him like candy.

Sherlock calmly closed the door and went to get a teacher.

This was the first time.

\---------------

Sherlock was in University, which really was very boring and how could anyone stand it? There was a young girl a floor below him in the dormitory. He can’t remember her name now, it’s not important. All he remembers are the signs (because they are the same things he saw in that young boy, Martin, and really it would be very useful to know the signs of an impending suicide. For his Work, of course.) of what she was planning.

He first became aware of her when she started to frequent the common area late at night. It was an odd occurrence, especially considering the hours he kept. She would just sit down and stare at the blank TV. It didn’t bother Sherlock, she wasn’t making any noise.

Then she started to pay off her debts, little things she owed people: a quid here, a drink there. Once he saw her pay back the gum she had taken from some friend of hers. It only stuck in his mind because of how odd it was. Gum? He should have seen it then, really but he didn't have all the knowledge yet.

It wasn’t until he was roaming the hallways looking for something to stimulate him (boredboredbored!) that he heard it, that odd sound. Something creaking. He walked back a few steps and placed his ear to the door, and there it was, softly squeaking. Gently swaying. He noted the room number, placed the face with the name (deleted), and came to a conclusion. He broke down the door and saw her; back and forth, back and forth.

This was the second.

\--------------

It happened quite painlessly, that next time. Sherlock was in between hits, in a filthy corner under the bridge surrounded by his fellow junkies. He barely noticed his neighbor shoot up, watched with disinterest as the man convulsed, didn't realize until after the high, until after Mycroft had sobered him up, that there was entirely too much heroin in that syringe for it to be a mistake.

That was the third and he didn’t even notice.

\-----------

Jim Moriarty shot himself. His blood was everywhere.

He was the fourth.

\-----------

The fifth time didn’t happen. He thought about it, for just a moment. Just a brief moment. If it would save them, (save him), then maybe it would be worth it.

The fifth time didn't happen.

Sometimes, he wished it did.

\-----------


End file.
